Your Compass When You're Lost
by 88Ashley88
Summary: Can she really keep running from the love that is chasing after her? One Shot


**This one shot was requested in a group chat surrounding the rumors of what's going to happen in Season 4 regarding Erin and Jay.**

 **I hope that you like it.**

 **AN: I don't own anything related to, NBC, Chicago PD...or Stranger Things on Netflix.**

 **00000000000**

Erin and Jay had been together for almost a year now and things were going really well. They were both busy with work and Erin was slowly rebuilding her savings she'd blown through when she'd fell through the rabbit hole on top of her regular monthly bills, it had caused her some stress. Jay had offered help but she wouldn't have it so he dropped it immediately, knowing it was important to her to be independent.

Erin stayed with him almost every night, she had her own key and had clothes and personal items at his place so that she didn't have to worry about going back to her apartment on a daily basis now that things at work had been so crazy.

Erin typically went to her apartment on Sunday's to take care of things and exchange clothes for the week. However, tonight she and Jay were having dinner with Hank, so they were going to stop by his place before heading back to Jay's apartment.

"Watch what you want, but don't start any new episodes of Stranger Things without me" she said teasing him. She kissed him lovingly.

"Never" Jay teased as he watched her get up and walk towards the bedroom.

Jay yawned and reached to retrieve the remote control off the table and saw a pile of papers sitting just under the remote.

He glanced at the document and realized it was a lease for her apartment. Apparently her lease was up and she needed to re-up it to stay there. She hadn't even mentioned it to him about her lease being up.

Jay looked over the papers and sat them back down on the table before standing up and moving towards Erin's bedroom.

"Don't give me that look, you already watched episode four without me. It's only fair that you have to wait" she smiled, looking up at him.

"Yeah, and I learned that lesson well. In fact, I won't forget that punishment" he grinned playfully. "You can punish me like that again if you want" Jay teased and gestured towards Erin's bed.

"Maybe later baby" Erin teased, trying to act serious but she always ended up smiling or laughing, she couldn't help it with him.

"So your lease is coming up?" he asked.

"Yeah after next month" Erin explained as she zipped up her suitcasae.

"Are you going to sign a new one?" he asked trying to sound subtle

"Of course, I love this place" she said.

"You're never here" he said, confused.

"Well, that's because your place is closer to work" Erin explained as she walked over to her closet to put up some empty hangers.

"How long would your new lease be?" Jay asked walking further into her room.

"A year, why?" she asked, wondering where he was going with all these questions.

"I guess I just figured this would be something that you'd want to talk to me about" he frowned.

"Well, we weren't talking about living together, is that something you wanted to talk about?" she asked curiously her voice trailing off as she came to the end of the question.

"I mean you did say that my place is closer to work, and the funny thing is my lease is up right after yours. You could stay with me until mine is up. Then we'll both be house hunting. It would give you a chance to save up all the movey that you spent when you were on your...sabbatical" he said.

"Jay, I don't know. I stay there but that's not in stone, living together is all day, every day. Are you sure you're ready for that. That we're ready for that? I mean if we sign a lease together, we're committed to that. You can't escape that" she asked.

Jay took a step back. He was surprised by her comment. "No escape? I don't want an escape. I love being with you. I lo..." he said ending his sentence before he completely scared Erin away. "Do you feel like you need some space from me?" he asked with a frown.

Jay watched Erin for a few moments. He thought things were going great with them. They'd grown so much closer after Justin's death and Erin had really leaned on him when Hank was facing trouble for what did or didn't happen at the silos.

"I just don't want it to be something you regret. I mean, this is the first time that we've ever really talked about it. Can I at least think about it?" she asked.

"Yeah...sure...it was just an idea" he said.

"Jay, don't be like that" she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled up at him lovingly. "I said I would think about it. Just give me some time...you're the first guy that I've..."

Jay watched Erin as her voice trailed off and she looked away from him as if she was somehow embarrassed by finishing her thought.

"It's fine" he said hugging her close and kissing the top of her head.

"Ok" Erin said forcing a smile "We're ok, right?"

"Of course" Jay assured.

Erin instantly felt bad because she felt like she had disappointed him. She saw the look on his face when she said they should think about it.

 **00000000000**

Jay hadn't really said much on the drive to Hank's. However, the two men had went outside to have a beer and fix the steaks on the grill while Erin stayed inside with Olivia Benson, who had really stepped in and helped Hank through the loss of Justin. Hank and Olivia had grown extremely close over the last few months and while Erin suspected that something romantic was going on between Hank and the New York Lieutenant, she was assured that they were just good friends.

Erin looked out the kitchen window at Jay who looked to be in some discussion with Hank on the way to properly cook steak. Erin smiled in spite of it, surprised by the friendship that Jay and Hank had been forming, even though neither one would like to admit that they even liked each other outside of work.

"Jay asked me to move in" Erin finally confessed to Olivia as they moved to sit at the kitchen table

"How do you feel about that" Olivia asked.

"I don't know. I mean, I've never been in a positon where I've ever been this serious with a guy. I just don't know if I deserve to be that kind of happy." she frowned. "What do I do?" she asked.

"What do you want to do?" Olivia asked her.

"Live with Jay" Erin answered, knowing it was true.

"Then go for it, you love him right?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"I don't know" Erin answered. But in her heart, she knew the answer.

"Erin, do you love him?" Olivia asked reaching across the table and placing her hand on top of Erin's.

Erin downcast her eyes to Olivia's hand on top of hers before she looked back up at her. "Very much"

"Have you told him?" Olivia asked.

Erin shook her head "No. Because when I let myself love, bad things happen. I mean, look at my past. My mom, Camille, Nadia, Justin...When I love people, I only get hurt, or they get hurt because of me. I couldn't live with myself if my loving Jay would ever be a reason he was hurt"

Olivia sighed and gave Erin's hand a gentle squeeze "Erin, you can't close yourself off to love. The things that have happened in your past and to the people you loved, were in no way your fault. In the time that I've known you, I can tell you that you are one of the most deserving people of love that I've ever known. And don't run from someone who loves you back just the same"

Erin looked towards the back porch "You think Jay loves me?"

Olivia smiled and found herself almost laughing at that question "Without a doubt in my mind"

 **00000000000**

Jay had been quieter than normal as he stood outside with Hank who was working on grilling the steaks.

"Do you plan on telling me what's up. or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" Hank asked.

Jay shook his head indicating nothing was wrong.

Hank glared at him "Really Jay? You're going to stand there and lie to me?" Hank asked, he loved to screw with Jay. Alvin and Olivia had told him to lay off, after Erin and Jay started to get serious, but what was he supposed to do? Old habbits die hard.

"I asked Erin..." Jay started.

"Don't even tell me you proposed to her. Is that the conversation we're going to have while I'm holding a knife?" Hank interrupted.

Jay glared at him "No, but thanks for the preview on how that conversation is going to go" he said shaking his head.

"You've gotta cut me a break, Halstead" Hank joked

"I wanted her to move in with me, we already mostly live together but she wants to think about it, so that's just kind of got me thrown" he frowned.

"Yeah, that sounds to me like she's going to say no. You should probably just break it off" Hank told him.

Jay glared at him "I don't even know why I try having a conversation with you" he said shaking his head.

Hank shook his head "Oh jeez, Jay. That was funny."

"Hilarious" Jay told him wryly.

Hank found himself almost laughing at the man standing next to him. His smile fell when he saw the look on Jay's face and he sighed.

"Jay, if you're this serious about Erin, than you should know her by now. You know how she is about making decisions, especially big decisions. It's been a rough few years for her. You know that. Don't worry about it too much. Just do what she asks and let her think about it" Hank explained.

"Do you think she doubts that I love her?" Jay asked.

"Jay..." Hank's voice trailed off.

Hank sighed as he listened to Jay, he still wasn't at the point where he was 100% comfortable with Jay and Erin being so serious, and he definitely wasn't ready for the "L" word to be thrown around in front of him.

"I would just hate for her to doubt my feelings. For her to think that she can't depend on me or that I can't be someone she can rely on" he asked solemnly, voicing his doubts.

 **00000000000**

Erin finished brushing her teeth and put her toothbrush in the holder at Jay's apartment. She pulled her still damp from the shower hair into a pony tail and made her way out of the bathroom and down the hall to where Jay was sitting on the couch waiting for her so they could watch the next episode of "Stranger Things" on Netflix.

Erin watched Jay for a few moments and she found herself smiling as she looked at him.

Never, in her entire 31 years had she ever felt the way that she did about the man that was sitting on the couch. He was like some puzzle piece that she didn't know she was even missing. To make it simple, Jay Halstead made her feel one word...

Complete.

And she didn't know what she was trying to run from, Olivia was right, as much as it scared her, she couldn't run from the one thing that was chasing after her.

Love.

Erin walked over to the couch and sat down next to Jay. He lifted his arm for her to move under, just like he always did when they'd watch TV together on the couch.

"Jay..." Erin said. Her voice breaking the silence between the two.

"Yeah?" Jay said as he flipped through the Netflix menu.

"I love you" Erin confessed.

Jay's thumb paused on the remote and he took a moment as he heard the words that fell from her lips. It was quiet, almost like a prayer.

His answered prayer.

Something he'd been waiting for since the moment he fell in love with her.

He looked down at Erin as he felt her pull back and look at him. Her hazel eyes looking up at him had the power to captivate him like nothing else. And he found himself looking right back at her and knowing in his heart, that this was it for him, and it always would be.

"I love you, too"

Erin smiled and leaned up crashing her lips against his.

The two kissed slowly for a few moments before they both pulled away to get some air.

"Does this mean we're going to move in together?" Jay asked.

Erin bit her lip as she thought about his question, she sat up from the couch and grabbed her lease off of the table and tore it down the middle before looking back at her boyfriend.

"Let's do it"

 ***~The End~***


End file.
